I am Waiting–TommyLee Dean

8th Post for PWSO.blog TommyLee Dean

:I am Waiting:
TommyLee Dean
October, 2021

I am pimply-faced teenage-masturbation alone in my dark bedroom, grown into
lonely-prisoner-masturbation segregated in a single cell.

I am crucified to this tree where they offer me no food nor any drink.
I am anger and rage overshadowing the lesser feelings of love and belonging that wilt inside the
barren wasteland of my broken soul. No nourishment for the lesser feelings in me, though anger and
rage find much to gluttonize on and gorge.

I am a walking contradiction! I am part truth and, to befuddle those of an authoritarian position,
I am part fiction.

I am stubbly hair, long Mohawk, acne scarred face, 190 pounds of rangy muscle and tattooed skin
riddled with scars from being cut and shot. I have made mothers cry, wives lonely and children sad
from losing dad.
I am a monster!
I am 109-IQ on this silly Department of Corrections IQ test. It tops out at 120 high genius. This,
they say, places me in the high average. Yet, I don’t care because what kind of IQ test only goes
up to 120?!?!

I am a seven-year-old child forced to watch the adult neighbor masturbate. Both of us nude after he
stripped our clothing. His overly large cock frightening me. Finally, his escaping seed (milky and
thick) worrying and causing for me to wonder if he suffered disease.

I am now a very mean, very strong and healthy full-grown man who will never do things against my
will again. This stubbornness separates me from society with a steel door and captors poking this
caged dog with sticks. If I choose to kill, this is my will, and I must have some sort of reason –
even if that reason was only to watch some asshole die.
I am a ticking time bomb!!

I am exultant when I hear that cops are finally being held accountable for their brutality and are
quitting their jobs, like the cowards that they are, because of this! I congratulate the public for
not allowing these bullies to remain above the law.